Jolting Conscience

Thursday, 11 February 2010

As predictable it may appear to me, I once again find myself sitting in a dark corner, trying to shape the soliloquy that I haven’t done in ages. Refreshing is the thought of moving my fingers on the crisp keyboard. Complimenting my belief, to start a flow of a random thought.

Here I am on a land far away from the life and independence that I enjoyed till now, amidst this haven; a thought colludes my mind. Despite a time long enough when I was guarded for every action, why the independence that I learnt in the last three years comes to mock the present state.

The learning is simple, it doesn’t matter how experienced and old you become, for your parents you are still a child. Perhaps time doesn’t prevail on every emotion that a man carries and it doesn’t fathom the judgement that parents arrive about you. Humility calls for a time to observe patience and caution. Caution because a sane thought is not necessarily a wise one.

To everyone who reads this confusing monologue; I request and advice, PARENTS are the biggest assets ever gifted. More precious than anything one may think of, to value their existence is an act of grace and responsibility. Fortunate are those who have the privilege to bring them a smile. Though the hope sails, my quest for the honour still lurks in murky waters.

What lies in my compass is the seed of patience. Maybe I’ve matured, but so is their experience about life, Maybe I can make decisions but so is their right to choose for me, maybe maybe isn’t the right chord that I should strike. Times change, so is the side of players on the field. Yet to choose which form I belong, is another mystery...

am I the ball, which the player kicks at his will, but only my trajectory being the ball decides the fate of the game...

am I the player whose toil and attitude decides the outcome of what happens in the end....

am I the crowd, whose hopeful cry while the game sinks can bring the ship ashore... or whose benign existence doesn’t rub against the predestined....

While pondering in this dark corner, such thoughts reflect... All I understand is it is for me to understand them, and thank them for whatever goodness that I have earned so far... And so shall be my plan for the days ahead....